This is it. You’re not here. START.

This is it.

Today is the only today I’m going to get. Tomorrow is the only tomorrow I’m going to get. I can’t get another today. Today was today. And what did I do?

In the movie About Time, my favourite rom-com, the main character who chooses to use his time travelling ability to live every day twice, finds out that eventually he doesn’t need to go back in time and live his day twice because he begins to live each day the best way that he could the first time round.

Wow. Imagine being able to do that. Being able to just live each day the best way that you could each and every time. It scares my so completely that I just go back to doing what I always do each day. I live each day almost like a survival – I’ll just get through it and tomorrow I will be doing something else much better. All of a sudden tomorrow comes and whatever I have looked forward to is over before I know it and I am left to go back into survival mode; living each day for the tomorrow.

What would living each day to its fullest look like for me? Well I would be happy, I would make other people happy which in turn would make me happy. I would reap the goodness from the day. I will say YES to everything I want to say YES to. I won’t be held back by social norms and I won’t let little things get me down.

So I wrote this sign on my pin board – above my desk saying, THIS IS IT. 

This is the day that I am living, right here and right now. My hope is that maybe I will make some changes. Even if they are scary, they will make me feel more fulfilled with my today.

You’re not here.

What stops me from living my day with my THIS IS IT motto is the fact that I am here. In a boring suburb where every teenager goes to my high school. Everyone knows me and my sub-conscious tells me that they all judge me as I walk around in trackies, thongs and socks – if I ever do anymore. These thoughts are all confirmed when none of us smile or greet each other as we pass, walking around the mozzie infested man-made lake. We all know there are dead bodies scattered throughout this lake, otherwise why would all the giant-ass fish keep dying? They just pop-up and float on the surface of the water.

*Bonus fact about the lake – when people go fishing and actually catch something, they never take it home to eat, because that would just be ferrel, nor do they chuck the poor soul back into the depths of the water, rather they just leave it on the side walk where it is devoured by the local cats or rats. No-joke, a friend and I were walking to school around the lake and a rat darted from within the bushes and charged straight at us. We ran.*

Maybe you might be catching the drift that where I live is not my dream life. It actually adds the hellery of school (because school is in the suburb that I live). So I guess the only way I decided I can be positive about each day is to pretend that I’m not actually here.

So I wrote this sign on my pin board – above my desk saying, YOU’RE NOT HERE.

Surely it is impossible I hear you say, and so do I say also. For how could I escape when I am so obviously here. Well I have no idea. I didn’t understand how people could simply forget the past in the dystopian book 1984 by George Orwell, but they do – with time. You see the brain is such an amazing catalyst for thoughts, that my logic says that it too can transport me away from the negative connotations I find in this hole.

You can do anything if you put your mind to, right?

START

To sum up my last two points, START, is telling me to just do it (NIKE hehe). Just start living like THIS IS IT and remembering that YOU’RE NOT HERE. Not tomorrow when I convince myself that the start will occur tomorrow. But right now. START.

So I wrote this sign on my pin board – above my desk saying, START.

This is it.

You’re not here.

START

what will I do next?

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